Fatal Attractions
by cranapplesurprise
Summary: As Azula discovers, the most efficient way into a girl's heart other than ripping it out with your bare hands is by helping her sneak into the Ba Sing Se Zoo in the middle of the night. Oneshot. Tyzula.


_**AN:**_ _And here (at last) is my zoo drabble, expanded. It actually turned out having nothing to do with my zoo drabble, but being about them sneaking into the Ba Sing Se zoo Aang made._

* * *

Mai is not at all happy with their _zoo trip_.

 _But,_ Ty Lee clearly is, given that it was her idea.

Ty Lee is also clearly _way_ too old to be this excited about a _zoo_ , of all things. In Mai's experience, all a zoo consists of is enclosures with animals in them, and usually the animals are sleeping so you cannot even see them.

Of course, Azula, the insufferable know-it-all, had to _tell_ Ty Lee that fact.

And so Mai squints at them as her stupid Earth Kingdom cotton candy stick that is as poorly constructed as their military hierarchy melts on her hand. She has no idea how she is getting that off, but watching the tragic comedy of errors that is Azula and Ty Lee's denial is _almost_ worth this horrible excursion.

"What do you _mean_ most of the animals are sleeping during the day? The day is the only time that we're allowed in the zoo!" Ty Lee asks in melodramatic despair, her eyes wide and brimming with tears.

 _Tears_. Mai looks at the sticky green sugar on her hand and actually _hopes_ that Ty Lee throws a tantrum and Azula makes them go home. Ugh. Home to the horrible palace in the horrible Earth Kingdom.

"I mean that zoos are a horrible scam, and that the only reason we came here was because you wouldn't shut up about the stupid flier with the baby animal drawn on it," Azula says coldly and Mai examines her for a moment.

This actually _could_ get worse. Well, figuring out how to console Ty Lee is exactly the way to a her heart other than perhaps stabbing your fingernails into her chest and ripping it out. Mental note, _do not tell Azula that, even in a joking tone._ Unless Ty Lee makes them go to a zoo again...

"Well, this is dumb. We should at least go see the baby tiger-jaguar cub. That's what the flier promised." And she thrusts it in front of their faces again, just taunting them, taunting them to throw her over the side of one of the stone ridges.

"If we _have to_ ," Azula says as Mai looks about to protest.

Ty Lee runs ahead and Mai turns to Azula.

"I think it's kind of cute that she can find happiness in this sickening void of a world," Mai says close-to-honestly and Azula shrugs. "I'd think she'd have seen more interesting animals at the circus, though."

"She hasn't seen any animals, because they are asleep, and I have no power to wake them," Azula says, sounding more frustrated than Mai has heard her in a _very_ long time. Which is legitimately frightening.

"Wait, are you that upset about the fact that you can't force the zookeepers to wake up all of the animals?" Mai knows she is playing with matches, but she can't resist.

"I am not used to it," Azula says and any person but Mai would believe her.

"Was this supposed to be a date?" Mai then realizes what she said. "No, not, not with us. Not between us. I do not care about any of these animals or this stupid grand opening. This was supposed to be a date with her."

"Yes. And the animals refuse to obey," Azula says with an expression that Mai thinks that the zoo might not be here once she conquers Ba Sing Se. But then Mai sees something bad.

"She's crying. Azula, go console her," Mai says and Azula wants to snap at her not to be ordered around, but she sighs.

"Not because you told me to," is her very feeble response as she walks over.

Mai watches from afar, grabbing some guy's cup of water and shooting him a warning glare when he shouts, _hey!_ , and trying to scrub off the sugar she got stuck onto herself. It was the worst she had ever eaten in her life. _Ever_.

There is bad news coming, Mai knows it. There is no way this is not bad news when Azula brings Ty Lee back, the acrobat with a very wicked gleam in her eyes. Ty Lee is crying because it was too hot out for the baby animals to be pet, and that was clearly very distressing.

Azula, however, might have actually succeeded at being semi-romantic.

"I was thinking," Azula says with a small smirk that means Mai is definitely not going to have the relaxing day the Earth King suggested. "If we could infiltrate Ba Sing Se... we could infiltrate a zoo..."

.

"This is a horrible idea," Mai whispers.

The three girls are ready to infiltrate the zoo. They made their excuses, dressed in dark green (Ty Lee with black eyeliner smeared on her face and shoulder bones as if it makes some kind of difference) and now have initiated their _zoo infiltration_. Ty Lee has been going on and on about what a good parent she will be to baby jungle predators, as Azula assures them she has the perfect plan, and Mai repeats why this is a horrible idea.

"I have given you three chances to turn around," Azula hisses to Mai as she vaults into the very poorly guarded zoo. "Oh, I think this might have something dangerous in it..."

"This is a horrible idea. Stop ─ what ─ _ow_ ," and Mai is forced over the ledge into the enclosure Azula said _might have something dangerous in it._

"Oh, no, just some kind of rabbit thing." Azula squints at it. "Although, it might spit poison."

"Have you ever seen an animal before? It's a rabbit-squirrel. It doesn't even have an exhibit," Ty Lee says before covering her hand with her mouth.

"I have seen more animals than you," Azula insists and Mai shakes her head, unseen in the shadows behind them. "Now, if we get caught, we will not only be exposed as teenagers sneaking into a zoo, we will also be exposed as spies from the Fire Nation, so I suggest we be quiet, carefully and _nobody get eaten_." Azula hesitates. " _Nobody get eaten and expect me to stop and help you."_

"That's fair," Mai says with a sigh.

"Well, you at _last_ agree on something," Azula snaps as they begin to navigate the enclosures.

.

Ty Lee rubs her arm. "We're super lost, aren't we? I really did think that the babies were that way, right? And we haven't seen one animal. Do they also sleep at night?"

Azula shakes her head. "No, they sleep during the day. I don't like this place. I think this might have been a bad idea."

Mai clears her throat and then gets a heart-stopping glance from Azula. Even her years of friendship definitely cannot save her right now. And so she makes the weak excuse, "I have allergies. I'm allergic to those hibiscus leaves."

"Of course," Azula replies, rolling her eyes and shoving her way into another enclosure.

An animal. Finally an animal. A _herd_ of animals.

They all freeze, despite their very determined and fearless trek towards wherever the creatures were kept at night.

"We should..." Ty Lee squints at seven different kinds she could count. Well, they were all kinds she _wanted_ to see, she supposes.

And now they are seeing her.

"So, what was the plan when we went to see the animals that woke up?" Mai whispers.

"We didn't have one," Ty Lee squeaks.

"This was your idea," is Azula's very romantic line, as she thinks for a moment, then one of the furry ones looks her in the eye, and shoves Mai towards it before bolting in the opposite direction.

"I don't think she's ever seen an animal," Mai whispers after catching herself on Ty Lee's shoulders, then pushing on Ty Lee's shoulders and running into the shadows after the princess.

"Don't! Don't leave me!" Ty Lee shrieks, and then one starts running at her.

Ty Lee dashes away as fast as she can, seizing a tree and swinging between them.

.

The shadows in the zoo dance and flicker with the long shadows of three slender and panicked girls as they run from the herd of animals. One shadow has been lagging behind, but has at last caught up near the end of the path they had taken from their secret entrance.

"That's water? Are they still following us? What are those noises?" Ty Lee hisses as she catches up with Mai and Azula, who are both standing at the edge of an unfathomable pool of indigo water.

There _are_ noises. Bellowing, animals in unrest.

"Did you steal one of their babies?" Azula demands and Ty Lee shakes her head.

"No. I swear," Ty Lee says and she thinks the sounds might be louder now.

"If you stole one of their babies we're leaving you," Mai says without hesitation, toeing the water and watching it ripple.

"I'll prove it," Ty Lee says, shimmying out of her dark green shirt. "Look, no baby animals."

"You color coordinated your bra for our recon mission," Mai comments, although her eyes are boring directly into Azula. "That's so fashion conscious. So, who's going into the water first?"

"Well, I can defend myself best against the animals since the main enemy of animals is fire, of course. One of you go. Mai, actually, you seem to be the most useless against animals, so we have nothing to lose if you drown," Azula says and Mai sighs.

"This is how your first romantic date went, Azula. I want you to remember this if I die tonight. Your first romantic date ended with us voting over who we had to sacrifice while choosing between being mauled by wild animals or being outed as spies."

"What does that even mean?" Azula snarls.

"It went better than I thought your first romantic date would ever go." And Mai narrowly avoids anything dangerous or impulsive by taking a wide step into the water and finding it ankle high.

And another. And she takes another. And she takes another. And she then sighs and turns around.

"It's a puddle," Mai announces and they go across as quickly and discretely as they can.

.

The lengthy ascent out of the zoo is silent. There is no complaining from Mai, no complex orders from Azula that neither of her friends will maintain, and no long explanations of how Ty Lee intends to steal and raise a baby animal.

Finally, they reach the top, strip out of the very suspicious clothes, and Ty Lee wipes off her very dramatic recon eye make-up. They lean against a tree, waiting for the train back into the city and trying to look like normal teenagers.

They are alone, thankfully.

"So, are you two together?" Ty Lee dares to quietly asks, pointing between Mai and Azula. "Y-you said _romantic_ date is all. I'm sorry for being a third wheel."

Ty Lee goes unanswered as Mai knows she is probably going to have to lie and pretend to be dating Azula for two weeks until the princess gets over her embarrassment.

But, no, Azula makes an actual step towards being a _human_.

Azula glances over at Ty Lee for a second, and the acrobat is still staring at the train tracks. Then the princess turns to her, grabs her by the arm, smashes their lips together and then quickly and casually steps away as if it never happened.

Ty Lee glances at her for a moment, shrugs, and smiles to herself once she hears the thundering of their ride back to the palace.


End file.
